What is it?

Everyone who has or has had children in years 5 and 6 know that this is the year where all friendships are tested. Children fall out with their friends on a daily basis, at least twice a day. Friendships are tested, destroyed and re-made over the slightest thing, an accidental look, not being online at a certain time, playing too rough, not playing football, not playing the right game or even having an Xbox and not a Playstation. All this is natural and understandable, well it is to adults. For a child, this can be devastating. Here at Annesley we promote the reality of friendships and the importance of having a diverse group of friends.

Through our PSHE curriculum and work with Mr Eccleston we will help children understand how all friendships will have highs and lows and how a true friend will always take you for who you are and not someone they want you to be. Positive friendships are those that offer support when needed and honest advice when you ask for it. They will also be open to receive the same from you. 

Annesley Primary School always supports positive friendships.

Characteristics of a positive friendships

There are many benefits of having a positive friendship but here are a selection that will help you with your own well-being and sense of self-worth.

1. They live with integrity

A friend with integrity acts in alignment with their values and commitments. They have strong moral principles, know the difference between right and wrong, and will speak or act when their principles are violated. They know themselves and behave and speak in ways that are consistent. Because of this, you can believe in them even when you disagree with them.

2. You can trust them

A close friend is honest and speaks from the heart with good intentions. They tell you what you need to hear in a way that you can hear rather than  gossip behind your back. A quality friend is trustworthy, not only are your secrets safe with them, but so are your vulnerability, fear, and weirdness.

3. “Dependability” is their middle name

Good friends show up, keep promises, do what they say they will do, and stand up for you. You don't have time for fair-weather friends. That doesn't mean a friend will be dependable across all dimensions — they aren't superheroes any more than you are. A friend can make mistakes, but you have to feel you can rely on them in some core way. For example, I have a friend who is always late and overwhelmed, but I know that I can depend on her to listen to me talk and accept me unconditionally.

4. They’re loyal

Blind loyalty is never a good idea. But, if your friends have integrity, they’re likely loyal to the people they care about and who have been with them through ups and downs.

They don’t speak negatively about you, they listen to your side of the story, give you the benefit of the doubt, and they defend you when you deserve it.

5. They have empathy for others

A good friend has that amazing ability to put themselves in your shoes, otherwise known as empathy. They do their best to understand what you’re feeling and react accordingly.

6. They’re good listeners

Listening skills are essential for a good friend. If someone has the qualities of a good friend, they give you room to speak, ask questions, validate your emotions, and help you find perspective. Some friends are good at helping you see things in a new light.

7. Their confidence is contagious

This is an important trait for any friend. They are comfortable with themselves and comfortable with you. Real confidence will inspire you, draws you out, lends you courage when you don't quite have it, and helps you feel confident to take on the world.

8. Spending time with them makes you feel good

Is this trait number 8? This could easily be #1. Otherwise, what’s the point? A great friend can have down days, but overall they have a positive mindset. Just being with them cheers you up when you feel down. The bottom line is that time with them should be something you look forward to.

9. You wonder how they’re not a professional comedian

Granted, this trait isn't absolutely necessary. But a sense of humor is helpful. A friend doesn't have to be professionally funny, just share a similar sense of humor to help you both find the lighter side when things get tough. They know how to hit your funny bone and appreciate your quirks. Someone who rolls their eyes at your jokes might not feel good to be around.

10. They're non-judgmental

Real friends never make you feel bad for being yourself. With a good friend, you can come to the table as your true self.

11. They’re low-maintenance

No drama here. If you’re busy, they won’t hold it against you. And when you reconnect, it’s like no time has passed at all. 

If your friend has any or all of these qualities, remind them that they’re awesome. That kind of positivity helps keep relationships alive.